My Thoughts

My thoughts , feelings and favorite things.

  • My Thoughts,  My Ulcerative Colitis Journey

    A Letter to My Newly Diagnosed Self

    Originally Posted November 6, 2016   Dear Self: By now you are probably coming down from the anesthesia and are realizing that while you finally have a diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis, you have no idea what that is. The doctor told you to go to the internet to do some research, and I am here to tell you that there is a lot of scary stuff out there, so be careful and cautious about what you read. Start building up a support team, right now. Make sure you have a GI you can trust, a primary care doctor who stands up for you and supports you, a yoga practice that…

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  • My Thoughts

    Will Essential Oils Cure IBD?

    Originally Published August 14, 2016   No, they won’t. There is not a cure for IBD.  They do, however, smell amazing and have some pretty cool benefits that could improve your attitude and maybe ease some physical symptoms, and perhaps much more. (Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, I am not providing advice, I’m sharing what I learned at this workshop and my experience with essential oils thus far. I encourage you to do your own research.) I took an essential oils workshop last week at Hilltop Yoga in Oldtown and really gave my scent sorter a workout. It was very interesting and educational, and I took away a few…

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  • My Ulcerative Colitis Journey

    Hope in Plot Twists

    Originally Published June 17, 2016 I’m married!! Our wedding was an amazing rainy day and we left and spent the following week in beautiful Northern California, ending in San Francisco before taking the red eye back home the following Sunday. I was blessed enough to be able to enjoy my wedding and reception in remission, thanks a lot to remicade and my lifestyle choices that I practice daily. I was planning on writing this blog about my tips on how to deal with IBD on your honeymoon,  but the tides have turned, so I’m writing to tell you about why I can’t take remicade until further notice. I had a…

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  • My Ulcerative Colitis Journey

    Hope in My MRI Scan

    * warning* this is a long post If you are looking for my tips on how to prepare for an MRI and don’t care about my experience scroll to the bottom. Thanks for reading! I wanted to share my MRI experience last night in hopes to prevent others from going through what I went through. I was told that this would be a 30 to 45 minute scan, with no contrast but lots of breathing and holding my breath. First off, let me say that I went into this with complete confidence. I’ve had an MRI on my back years ago and knew what it was like and was prepared…

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  • My Thoughts,  My Ulcerative Colitis Journey

    Hope in Paper Flowers

    I’m getting married in June. At my recent doctors appointment, my PCP asked , “So, you’re working full time, planning a wedding yourself, trying to stay healthy, workout and stay in remission all at the same time? Aside from every other life task,  am I missing anything?” No, Dr. Miller. You’ve got it. It’s overwhelming sometimes  managing your own care and trying to have a life at the same time. I’m constantly checking in with my body and asking myself a million questions about my physical and mental state. It’s like one of those questionnaires at the doctor : Any bleeding today? How many glasses of water did you drink?…

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  • My Ulcerative Colitis Journey

    Hope in Letting Go

    Originally Published March 1, 2015  Disclaimer: This gets a little personal for me. I’m not looking for pity, and I know that things could always be much worse. I’m not trying to get sympathy. I just want to share the reality of what life is like with a chronic illness.Depression is in my family, so I’m always very aware of my mental health state, and I knew that I was slipping down that slope and had to make a change. This is my way of dealing with how this disease has changed my life. I’m sharing it because I know there are others who struggle with it and I hope…

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  • My Ulcerative Colitis Journey

    Hope in Vacations

    Originally Published February 22, 2015  I can’t say I’m entirely thrilled to be back home in -23 degree mornings (yes, that is a negative 23 temperature), but man, I missed the privacy of my own bathroom and only having to share it with one other person. Little blessings. Vacation was different this year. This was my first non-sick/IBD related day off from work in over a year and a half. You could say I was looking forward to it. I wasn’t even realizing that this was my first vacation with my IBD. The thought did not even cross my mind at all. I was thinking of sun, and sand and…

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  • My Ulcerative Colitis Journey

    When Fear Steals Hope

    October 21, 2014: When Fear Steals Hope It took me a few days to recover from my last infusion. It felt different from before. This time I was exhausted and had a killer headache. You know those ones that creep up the back of your neck? Yeah. And it lasted 3 days. Usually I’m good to go after a day and a half. So I consulted google and scared the shit out of myself (not literally in this case) with what could happen from being on remicade. Obviously I already knew all of the side effects. I had researched it to death while I was in the hospital waiting for…

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  • My Ulcerative Colitis Journey

    Show Me the Mummy

    Originally Published on  October 19, 2014: One of my favorite IBD advocates and members of my support team, Colitis Ninja started this awareness campaign and I am so excited to participate in it. What you do, is wrap yourself (I would suggest having someone help) up with toilet paper and hold up a sign stating how IBD has affected you, good and bad. You can read more about the actual campaign on her blog I chose to do my photo while getting my infusion. One of my soul sisters was there visiting with me and she helped wrap the toilet paper so my IV didn’t get in the way and…

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  • My Ulcerative Colitis Journey

    Hope and Guilt

    Originally Published June 22, 2014: Guilt. A bad feeling caused by knowing you did or thinking that you have done something wrong, according to Webster. With this disease, I’ve been struggling with feelings of guilt. Guilt about taking medications, being in pain, being unable to attend events, eating, sleeping, and many other things. Mostly though, I feel my guiltiest when I feel like I’m being lazy, or at the thought of being viewed as lazy.  I often find myself pushing to get through an entire to do list of errands and tasks. And for what? To prove that I have what it takes to run errands and feel accomplished? To…

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