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A Letter to My Newly Diagnosed Self
Originally Posted November 6, 2016 Dear Self: By now you are probably coming down from the anesthesia and are realizing that while you finally have a diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis, you have no idea what that is. The doctor told you to go to the internet to do some research, and I am here to tell you that there is a lot of scary stuff out there, so be careful and cautious about what you read. Start building up a support team, right now. Make sure you have a GI you can trust, a primary care doctor who stands up for you and supports you, a yoga practice that…
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Hope in Plot Twists
Originally Published June 17, 2016 I’m married!! Our wedding was an amazing rainy day and we left and spent the following week in beautiful Northern California, ending in San Francisco before taking the red eye back home the following Sunday. I was blessed enough to be able to enjoy my wedding and reception in remission, thanks a lot to remicade and my lifestyle choices that I practice daily. I was planning on writing this blog about my tips on how to deal with IBD on your honeymoon, but the tides have turned, so I’m writing to tell you about why I can’t take remicade until further notice. I had a…
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Hope in My MRI Scan
* warning* this is a long post If you are looking for my tips on how to prepare for an MRI and don’t care about my experience scroll to the bottom. Thanks for reading! I wanted to share my MRI experience last night in hopes to prevent others from going through what I went through. I was told that this would be a 30 to 45 minute scan, with no contrast but lots of breathing and holding my breath. First off, let me say that I went into this with complete confidence. I’ve had an MRI on my back years ago and knew what it was like and was prepared…
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Show Me the Mummy
Originally Published on October 19, 2014: One of my favorite IBD advocates and members of my support team, Colitis Ninja started this awareness campaign and I am so excited to participate in it. What you do, is wrap yourself (I would suggest having someone help) up with toilet paper and hold up a sign stating how IBD has affected you, good and bad. You can read more about the actual campaign on her blog I chose to do my photo while getting my infusion. One of my soul sisters was there visiting with me and she helped wrap the toilet paper so my IV didn’t get in the way and…
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Hope and Guilt
Originally Published June 22, 2014: Guilt. A bad feeling caused by knowing you did or thinking that you have done something wrong, according to Webster. With this disease, I’ve been struggling with feelings of guilt. Guilt about taking medications, being in pain, being unable to attend events, eating, sleeping, and many other things. Mostly though, I feel my guiltiest when I feel like I’m being lazy, or at the thought of being viewed as lazy. I often find myself pushing to get through an entire to do list of errands and tasks. And for what? To prove that I have what it takes to run errands and feel accomplished? To…
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Hope in the Beatles
Originally Published June 5, 2014 Been doing a lot of listening to the Beatles and anything on the Beatles Pandora station lately. Here Comes the Sun always brings me to tears. Good tears. Something about the smiles returning to the faces, it seems like years since they’ve been here. I can feel that. And it’s such a good feeling. Man, this last month has been…not describable in one word. Not really describable in one post either, which is why I haven’t been sitting and writing lately. Shame, shame, for I really wish I would have documented more. But I remember. I remember sleeping, or trying to sleep sitting propped up…
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Hope in Being a Warror
Originally Published April 27, 2017 “I am not the victim of the world I see.” -A Course In Miracles I haven’t posted much in the last week because I was scared I’d start delving into the negative instead of staying above the water. I refuse to become a victim of this disease. I would rather be a survivor. But it’s been challenging this last week. So I’m going to acknowledge these negatives as what they are, and move on. Ignoring them is not good, and dwelling on them doesn’t do anything either. So bear with me as I exhale and let out what’s been going on this last week. I…
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Hope in Enemas
Originally Published March 31, 2014: Yeah. I said it. Enemas.It’s okay if your disgusted by the mention of the word, or the process. I was too. But in that full brown paper bag lies my months supply of hope. Hope for remission. Hope for something that works. I have 26 days for these little suckers to do their job before we move on to the big biological drugs. So let me hear you say it.. Enema’s for the win! I started reading the book May Cause Miracles by Gabrielle Bernstein this morning. For those of you who haven’t heard of or read it, it is a 40 day journey to…
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Why I Choose Hope
Originally Published March 26, 2014 Hope keeps me alive. Not that I felt was going to die in the first place, but it keeps me feeling alive. When I was first diagnosed with a disease that has no cure, and no reason, I felt nothing. You have an Inflammatory Bowel Disease. Said the doctor after my colonoscopy. There isn’t a cure. But we’re going to try to get it into remission with a treatment plan. Okay. I said. And my mom drove me home. I was okay when I called my dad and told him the diagnosis. I was okay after my mom left to go to class. I was…
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Becky Mason
Originally Published September 17, 2014 One of my dearest friends is the feature for this week’s hope warrior. Becky was diagnosed with lupus a few years ago and other diseases have surfaced since then. When she was first diagnosed it was hard for me to understand what had happened. This was my happy go lucky, ice cream scooping, sunshine soaker, laughing best friend, and stuff like this just didn’t happen. I didn’t understand her disease or what she was going through, but I tried to be there the best that I could. When I was diagnosed with my auto immune disease, Becky was one of the only friends (in person)…